The “Friendor”

By March 24, 2020 Ruthe Tuesdays

When you’re planning a wedding, you quickly realize how big this task can be…it can get pretty overwhelming with the amount of things needed to pull this party off! That’s when you realize it might be nice to have some friends to help out. And more often than not, brides on a budget will find friends and family to take on the role of the vendor. It’s definitely not uncommon to see the best friend take on the wedding cake or grandma commit to the responsibility of alterations. So how do you go about navigating the relationship of the “friendor”?

  • Know what you’re signing up for

Since the “friendor” relationship can be very casual, it can be hard to know exactly what to expect. After all, it seems silly to write up a vendor contract with your Aunt the florist. But try to get past this and make sure you are communicating! Get things in writing, even if it’s just an email. Both the bride and “friendor” need to be on the same page with what is being provided. Never assume. Ask all of the questions and get details like who is delivering, who is cleaning up and what is included.

  • You get what you pay for

While your friend might offer their wedding services for 50% or grandma might just make it a wedding gift, the saying still goes, “you get what you pay for”. Make sure what they can do and the level of skill they provide is what you really want for your big day. Ask yourself if their photography capabilities are something you can be happy with 10 years down the road… or if you’re willing to compromise the quality of your bridesmaid dresses. To some, the savings outweigh the need for a vendor with 10 years of experience. But to others, this might be a sad mistake. Either way, it is super important to take that time to consider the pros and cons.

  • Don’t compromise the relationship

Make sure the decision to hire your “friendor” is a decision that doesn’t compromise the relationship. Be open and honest…communicate! And allow them to do the same with you. Depending on who it is, this person might not want to work on your wedding day. Your sister or grandmother might want to just be a guest and be in the moment with you celebrating your marriage. Be open to this possibility.

No matter what “friendor” you decide to commit to, we celebrate those that embrace this way of planning their wedding. It can be a life-saver and a stress-reliever…or just another way for your loved ones to show you how excited they are for your new, married season of life. Just don’t forget to say thank you just as you would to other vendors. Gift cards, thank-you cards or a bottle of wine are all appreciated I’m sure!


Author RJC

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