Help! How do I tell my guests that we want an adult-only wedding?

By September 1, 2019 Ruthe Tuesdays

You’re finally engaged! You’ve been thinking about this moment and that big wedding day since you were five. Everything has to be perfect. After talking it over with your fiancé, you both agreed that you want the night to be romantic and intimate. You want to be surrounded by close friends and family members as you start the rest of your lives together. But for both of you, that wedding vision also means having children at the wedding is not an option.

The only problem: how do you tell your family and friends that you prefer they hired a babysitter for the night without sounding rude? The last thing you want to do is hurt their feelings or cause them to not attend the wedding at all.

Thankfully, I have a few tips to make breaking the news to guests as smooth as possible!

  1. Be open and honest
    If you’ve decided an adult-only event is what you want for your wedding day, make it clear. This day is all about you and your fiancé and the vision that you wish to bring to life. In the end, you need to be true to yourself and the wedding day you want to have. The best way to do this is by being open and honest about your guest list. Talk to the parents personally about your adult-only celebration and how you would love to see them at the wedding. The worst thing you can do is simply stick “no kids allowed” onto your mailed invitations. This can send the wrong message to your beloved friends and family. Having that face-to-face conversation with your guests before invitations are sent out is the best way to approach the situation.
  1. Address the guests
    In addition to having the conversation with parents in advance, make sure to address each person you would like to invite in your invitations. Instead of addressing the entire Smith Family, make sure to address only Mr. and Mrs. Smith. This is an easy way to ensure only the couple listed are attending the wedding. You can also say something like, “we have reserved 2 seats for you at our wedding” to further communicate your wishes.
  1. Don’t forget the wedding party
    What if you decide to have your younger sister as a flower girl? Maybe she is the only child that you would be willing to have at your wedding. How can you have her attend the wedding without other parents feeling disappointed that they had to leave their children at home?
    Again, communication is crucial. To make sure other relatives or friends aren’t upset at the situation, you will need to communicate that you only want children in the wedding party to attend. Placing the distinction between the wedding party and other guests is important.
  1. When in doubt, call Ruthe!
    If all else fails and you and your fiancé decide inviting children is the best decision, Ruthe is here to help! At the Ruthe Jackson Center, we are equipped with a large facility that can accommodate your dream wedding vision and the kids too. Instead of keeping the children at home, all guests can use the RJC kids room during that adult-only party. While you and your fiancé are enjoying the night of your lives with all of your loved ones, the kids can have a blast in their own space big enough to fit bounce houses, movies, pizza and more. Instead of each parent having to find a babysitter for the night, you can provide childcare to come to the facility for all the kids.

Whatever you decide is best for your big day, I hope these tips to this difficult subject can make wedding planning a little easier. Remember to always stay true to yourself and the day you’ve envisioned since you were a kid. When you do that, everything else will fall into place.


Author ruthejacksonce

More posts by ruthejacksonce